Apology
8/20/99

To all those who don't care:
To those who tolerate my presence
but are just as happy when I go:
To those who show little or no love,
no desire to know who I am in my thoughts:
To those with their own better friends:
To those who ignore me in favor of them:...

I apologize for trying too hard
and wanting too much to be your friend.
I apologize for fretting in my mind
to find the right words to say,
finally getting the guts to say them,
but realizing you don't want to hear my heart anyway.

I'm sorry that I wanted to share something more than current events.
I'm sorry that I have a heart, and take things personally.
I'm sorry that I'm not content with status quo.
I'm sorry that my mind is full of thoughts and questions, but my mouth is silent.
I'm sorry I can't share my heart with yours.
I'm sorry there can't be more.
I'm sorry neither of us can change.
I'm sorry for words like these
that come out when nothing else is permitted.

So to my friends
Who tire of me and my ways
Who remember my quirks but forget my friendship
To those who could take me or leave me
But whom I still care about
I'm sorry,
sorry for both our sakes that I can't be more apathetic,
sorry that I can't stop caring.

I'll always hold out the line of friendship to you,
should you choose to accept it.

- Author Known