Valentine's Application Form
Joe Clark ~~ Jan 21, 2004

Joe, the self-proclaimed beautification engineer and constant seeker and potential giver of love and good sentiment in its various forms, is now accepting new applications for the position of "valentine". The lucky winner can expect to receive a gift symbolizing the specialness of a "valentine", as well as kind words of affection. If the winner so chooses (and hopefully she will), she will also get a backstage pass to the comedic/cheesy/song-loving/complaint-laden/idealistic/beautification-oriented "Joe Show". This backstage pass will consist of everything wholesome and nothing immoral and may likely be renewed indefinitely.

Before signing up on this application, the following requirements (written in typical engineerish language) need to be met:

  1. The Applicant shall be of the human female variety.
  2. The Applicant shall be single, where single means significant-otherly unattached.
  3. The Applicant shall enjoy the prospect of being a "chosen valentine."
  4. The Applicant shall plan to make use of at least one "backstage pass".
  5. The Applicant shall not be too busy and shall not ever use an excuse like, "I'm too busy; I have to wash my cat."
  6. The Applicant should share similar ideals in at least an exploratory fashion.
  7. The Applicant should share similar experiences, or be able to bridge the "experience gap" in some way.

If you are applying online, please provide details along with preferred contact information to Joe at If you are applying from a printed version of this application, sign your name and provide contact information on the included sign-up form. Pictures are always welcome, but not required. Any other background information would be welcome as well (please attach to the sign-up form).

Please note that if applicants meeting the requirements do not present themselves, the "valentine" honor will be bestowed at will upon a non-applicant of my choosing.